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The Top Tips on How to Make A Breakup Less Painful.

first_img Share Share 33 Views   no discussions Tweet LifestyleRelationships The Top Tips on How to Make A Breakup Less Painful. by: – June 23, 2011center_img Sharing is caring! Share by Niya NDon’t Be a Punk About It- true story: relationships and marriage engagements have been called off via e-mail and text message! Digital break-ups degrade the depth of a relationship leading one to question if the other person was sincerely genuine to begin with. You have to be noble about these things and, as hard as it may be, have the conversation face-to-face and if that’s too much, a phone call will suffice.Be Firm in Your Decision– that whole make-up to break-up business is for the birds! You know, the on-again, off-again madness? Then when it’s finally over, you’re not really sure because you’ve been down this road several times before and the both of you are wondering if “it’s really over this time.”Never use a break-up or “space” as leverage to get what you want out of someone because after that you can’t be taken seriously. Don’t waver with words like “maybe in time” or “if you had . . . ” Leave no room for question if “the fat lady’s singing.” It’s over . . . done . . . finished.Thoroughly Explain- state your case. Let him/her know how you came to the decision to end things. Give them a general idea or specific event that marked the point of no return for you. You’ve likely had a discussion explaining why you’re unfulfilled in the relationship prior to its end, acknowledge the adjustments he/she and you tried to make to see it through and why it’s not going to work for you.No Rehashing -there is absolutely no need to drudge up catastrophic events and hard times! You can’t dwell in the pain from the past if you’re moving forward, make sense? If you’re firm in your decision to split, then there’s no need to kick up dust or take him/her through the a variance of emotions. If you’re a peace with it, then peaceful it will be!Allow Ventilation- again, the idea is for the both of you to walk away having learned something and, ultimately, be a better person because of it. When you’re not allowed the time, space and ear to vent your frustrations and why you might agree or disagree, you’re leaving or taking away excessive baggage. Once everything is out in the open, there’s just not much to harbor and he/she will move with ease.Be Sensitive – if you’ve been out of reach for a week and finally call your significant other over to “talk.” then you already know you’re dropping a bomb that’s going to rock his or her world. There may be tears, fits of anger and cross examination, but you have to stay cool answer all questions the best you can and give them a moment if they need it. Remember, if it were you you’d expect a certain level of sensitivity.Closure is Key- you both need closure. It may not come on the same day or within the same week for that matter. You know how you walk away from a situation saying, “dang, I should’ve asked this and said that.” Take some time and narrow it down to three, maybe four, questions or comments and mail them in letter form to him/her and expect no response. This is only meant to be therapeutic and to get any last thoughts off your chest. Take it step further and hold on to the letter for a week or so and if you feel the same intensity you felt when you wrote it, send it! If not, can it. Sometimes, literally, expressing your feelings onto a sheet of paper is all the closure you need.last_img read more

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Tottenham beat holders Real to reach last 16

first_imgLacklustre Madrid were run ragged on their first ever appearance at Wembley and Christian Eriksen delivered the knockout blow to ensure Zinedine Zidane’s side won’t be wishing for a return to the English national stadium anytime soon.Cristiano Ronaldo’s late strike was no consolation for the 12-time European champions, who hadn’t lost at this stage of the tournament since October 2012.With two games still to play in Group H, Tottenham’s first ever win over Real means they are guaranteed to reach the knockout phase and, just as significantly, it should give them genuine belief they can mount a serious challenge for the trophy.After an erratic start to the season, this was Alli’s coming of age party as the 21-year-old bossed the midfield on his return to European action after a three-match ban.While Tottenham were in dreamland, Madrid’s shambolic display, coming after a shock La Liga defeat at minnows Girona last weekend, will add to the pressure on Zidane as he struggles to handle the first major test of his coaching credentials.In the build-up to the match, Tottenham defender Jan Vertonghen had bragged he wouldn’t swap Harry Kane for even Ronaldo.While that bold claim might be a little dubious, the England forward, back after missing Saturday’s defeat at Manchester United with a hamstring injury, did everything he could to repay his team-mate’s boast.Kane buzzed around the Madrid defence with real menace and his driven pass to Kieran Trippier gave the right-back the chance for an audacious volley that flashed wide of the far post.Despite losing Belgian defender Toby Alderweireld to injury midway through the half, Mauricio Pochettino’s side were dictating the tempo and their vibrant start was rewarded in the 27th minute.Eriksen’s pass picked out Trippier’s run and, with Madrid’s appeals for offside falling on deaf ears, the defender whipped over a low cross that picked out Alli, who got in front of the Madrid defence to stab home.– Sublime style –Ronaldo was largely anonymous for much of the first half and he spent more energy gesticulating to the referee and his team-mates than leading a Real revival.When he finally had a sight of goal, the Portugal forward wasted the opportunity with a low shot straight at Tottenham goalkeeper Hugo Lloris.Marcelo, surging away down the left edge of the Tottenham area, almost bagged a equaliser immediately after the interval when the left-back’s cross-shot forced Lloris into action.But Real remained fatally flawed at the back and Alli took full advantage to double Tottenham’s lead in sublime style in the 56th minute.Taking possession 25 yards from goal, Alli weaved his way past Madrid’s leaden-footed defence, working enough space on the edge of the area for a powerful strike that deflected in off Real captain Sergio Ramos.With Zidane’s team now forced to chase the game, Tottenham were able to pick them off with a lethal counter-attack in the 65th minute.Kane was the catalyst with a perfectly-weighted pass into Eriksen’s path and the Dane did the rest, clipping a nonchalant finish past Kiko Casilla to spark wild celebrations from the disbelieving Tottenham fans.Ronaldo got one back with a deflected 80th minute effort, but it was far too late to salvage a futile night for Madrid.0Shares0000(Visited 1 times, 1 visits today) 0Shares0000The Tottenham midfielder showed his desire to get on the end of the cross and get across Nacho in the six yard box. Photo/DMLONDON, United Kingdom, Nov 1 – Dele Alli fired Tottenham Hotspur into the Champions League last 16 as his brace inspired a swaggering 3-1 win over Real Madrid that condemned the troubled holders to their first group-stage defeat in five years.Alli put Tottenham ahead from close range in the first half and the England midfielder doubled their lead with a fine solo effort after the interval.last_img read more